Thresholds in awakening

​I am feeling a profound sense of rootedness to Gaias womb and its supportive nourishment and enlivenment. As the chaos swirls around me, the memories of Earth's clay awakens within my body and enlivens me with an unfathomable sense of trust in the unfolding. 

Feeling this time to be a deeper recognition and avowal of communion, devotion and discipleship to the marriage with my calling, and small, but necessary, place in the great tapestry unfolding before us. 

I have come to understand that I have been very afraid of my own power of expression... allowing just enough to keep me alive and in acceptance from others but not enough to allow my originality to express itself come what may. And even though there was a time where it needed to remain hidden and behind protective skirts and veils in order to heal, it is now becoming increasingly more painful to remain that way. 

I am feeling an immense power surge from the belly of the Earth as it moves, dances and rises within my inner waters. Asking me to trust the waves of heartbreak, disappointment and the intelligent activity of the rhythms that give and take away. 

Realizing how much I’ve longed to belong and be accepted in my fullness and also coming into congruency with the knowing that only the Mother can hold me in that way. That, mostly, every person is longing for the same and doing the best with what we know, inadvertently hurting others and 'containing' ourselves along the way. 

It's a great paradox that coming to true power, we must come to know uncompromising surrender to be its faithful counterpart. The deeper my surrender the more rooted power flows forth into transparent expression and intimacy. 

I am consciously committing myself to the non-doing as much as to the doing, knowing that I am being moved from a deeper place that is connected to the rhythms and waves of Divine Will. That there is action in non-action and holding the profound knowing that my sovereignty can only be touched and discovered by me and that sometimes this means disappointing those around me. 

Knowing and accepting that I am the quest and the forever question and only through my curiosity can the mystery unfold its bountiful grace. And from this place my calling is answered as a lived experience not an ephemeral articulation. 

We are waking up to an intelligence and wisdom that is ancient, it has always existed hidden beneath the ages of deceit and yet, it is completely new... in that through each of us, its essence will walk the earth in a completely new way. A way that no one else can take us to, affirm, approve or give to us. It is our own personal portal to the divine that we must trust, our thread to the ancient that will ask us to relinquish it as a half-hearted hobby and celebrate it as the precious gem it is and are so blessed to have inherited. 

I give myself unbridled, completely and madly to the remembrance of the Truth, in devotion to pure love and to the awakening and embodiment of primordial innocence within. 

I vow to shine so bright that its illumination reaches my inner most numbed and darkened places and they're brought into conversation with the wholeness of my humanity. To remain faithful to my inner contradictions.  

I vow to listen to the whispers of wisdom in twilight and dusk, to hold humble reverence for the shimmering midnight and the alchemical hea(r)t of noon.

I vow to serve the greater mending through vehement vigilance and playful tending to the garden of my soul and the precious sensitivity of my human body.
 — at Lago Atitlán, Guatemala.

​Anabel Vizcarra