So often, I find myself between worlds.
Sometimes it’s simply magical and sometimes it’s lonely, agitating and frustrating.
I know this place well, at one point I spent years within its womb. Remembering, unlearning, shedding, surrendering and now l am learning how to not only live from my body wisdom, but participate in this world through it without overwhelm.
In these times, I keep breathing into the absolute truth that it’s in the humbling lap of the divine where core and lasting reorganization happens. This is where the Beloved is rearranging what I must show up for.
Trusting the timeline of my heart, cultivating my patience and supporting myself through the process of my edges IS the practice.
Because in this 'in between space' there is nothing known, only that from this ‘chaos’ innovation is birthed.
So, if you find yourself in these spaces of initiatory challenge I want to remind you...
Breathe, don’t try to fix it but rather listen to what it has to say. Get the support you need, not to fix you but to guide you into deeper surrender when the resistance comes. There is nothing wrong with you, this is the process of awakening. It’s from this very place that your own deeper wisdom is revealed, and it is here that divine guidance can truly be felt and anchored in the world.
It’s not on our time but in divine time, what we CAN actively do is surrender the resistance and show up moment to moment for the transmutation unfolding!
There's a fierce commitment to self love and tending required to allow someone you love to be in their uncertainty without rushing them. To give them space without needing them to do what we think they should or offering any ‘how to'.
It is a profound testament of love to honor another in this way. Our own inadequacies and needs can rush to fix what seems to be uncertain. To make right what seems to be wrong.
There is fierce love in stepping back into our own discomfort and sense of potential loss. To restrain from needing to be helpful or be helpless, but rather allow the other to come into their own realizations, in their own time and in their own way.
Come what may.
It is in that space of surrendering of any solution where once again our loving can embrace us, our authentic boundaries can hold us and the truth about whats happening can emerge.
It is in the space of honoring another in this way that we can choose to BE love and accept what is, over choosing to grasp for some sense of control which only creates further separation and chaos.
We can have a really hard time accepting what life is telling us in the NOW because its not saying what we WANT it to say. So, as we keep breathing into the surrender of this flow we can remind ourselves that to love, is to allow and to let be.
That to truly love another means above all, to be willing to honor where they are and accept that life knows best. Always.
There is a fierce and devotional loving that says 'your will for you is my will for you'.
This maturity in love can only emerge through an awakened and Divinely empowered lover. Yes, love like this can be co-created.
True empowered love is for the courageous.
Have you ever been asked for this space?
Have you ever needed this space but betrayed yourself to please another?
I am feeling a profound sense of rootedness to Gaias womb and its supportive nourishment and enlivenment. As the chaos swirls around me, the memories of Earth's clay awakens within my body and enlivens me with an unfathomable sense of trust in the unfolding.
Feeling this time to be a deeper recognition and avowal of communion, devotion and discipleship to the marriage with my calling, and small, but necessary, place in the great tapestry unfolding before us.
I have come to understand that I have been very afraid of my own power of expression... allowing just enough to keep me alive and in acceptance from others but not enough to allow my originality to express itself come what may. And even though there was a time where it needed to remain hidden and behind protective skirts and veils in order to heal, it is now becoming increasingly more painful to remain that way.
I am feeling an immense power surge from the belly of the Earth as it moves, dances and rises within my inner waters. Asking me to trust the waves of heartbreak, disappointment and the intelligent activity of the rhythms that give and take away.
Realizing how much I’ve longed to belong and be accepted in my fullness and also coming into congruency with the knowing that only the Mother can hold me in that way. That, mostly, every person is longing for the same and doing the best with what we know, inadvertently hurting others and 'containing' ourselves along the way.
It's a great paradox that coming to true power, we must come to know uncompromising surrender to be its faithful counterpart. The deeper my surrender the more rooted power flows forth into transparent expression and intimacy.
I am consciously committing myself to the non-doing as much as to the doing, knowing that I am being moved from a deeper place that is connected to the rhythms and waves of Divine Will. That there is action in non-action and holding the profound knowing that my sovereignty can only be touched and discovered by me and that sometimes this means disappointing those around me.
Knowing and accepting that I am the quest and the forever question and only through my curiosity can the mystery unfold its bountiful grace. And from this place my calling is answered as a lived experience not an ephemeral articulation.
We are waking up to an intelligence and wisdom that is ancient, it has always existed hidden beneath the ages of deceit and yet, it is completely new... in that through each of us, its essence will walk the earth in a completely new way. A way that no one else can take us to, affirm, approve or give to us. It is our own personal portal to the divine that we must trust, our thread to the ancient that will ask us to relinquish it as a half-hearted hobby and celebrate it as the precious gem it is and are so blessed to have inherited.
I give myself unbridled, completely and madly to the remembrance of the Truth, in devotion to pure love and to the awakening and embodiment of primordial innocence within.
I vow to shine so bright that its illumination reaches my inner most numbed and darkened places and they're brought into conversation with the wholeness of my humanity. To remain faithful to my inner contradictions.
I vow to listen to the whispers of wisdom in twilight and dusk, to hold humble reverence for the shimmering midnight and the alchemical hea(r)t of noon.
I vow to serve the greater mending through vehement vigilance and playful tending to the garden of my soul and the precious sensitivity of my human body.
— at Lago Atitlán, Guatemala.