When I was traveling to Hawaii, a flight to Honolulu, to facilitate a Womb Awakening teacher training retreat last September, I had a magical experience that felt beyond profound, and symbolic of the times and possibility in which we are living now, and how supported we are through the unseen web of Divine Mother in The Great Work.
As I took my seat (window seat) there was a priest sitting next to me. Of course my first thought was… hmm this will be interesting since I had just received my Womb Awakening book and had planned to finish it on the plane.
So, once we got on our way I take out my book and started reading. I had it on the little fold down table. I was reading Spiral 32 “Awakening the Grail Knights- the sacred masculine and guardians of the womb”
I could feel the priest eyeing the book.. curious on what I was reading.
Maybe 3 minutes later he asked, "what's a grail knight?" to which I said ‘a grail knight is the masculine essence that protects and guards Divine Mothers’ wisdom and expression on Earth’…. He said.. ‘ok, interesting.’
I took this as an unspoken invitation and placed the book in front of me, I opened the book to the color image of Mother Mary in the Basilica of Notre Dame in France.
It sat there for a bit until he couldn’t help but ask what book I was reading… I responded my teachers just published this book on Womb Awakening …
He said, “hmmm, interesting".
Two minutes later he asked about the image, he asked to see it. Not touching it but glancing over it he said he’d been there before. I went on to say I had been there last year and we chatted a bit about it.
Then he asked me some more things and there was a part of me that was really excited to be having this conversation. For those of you that know me, you know I have an extensive history and studies with religions and a deep connection to the Magdalene lineage in particular.
As he went silent again, I started turning the beautiful color pages of the images and I could feel he was so intrigued.
Until finally, he asked to see them, I gladly handed the book over.
He just kept looking at the images, with his glasses on, nodding his head.. 'hmm.. hmm.’ he kept on.
He asked a few more questions and then on the picture of Mary Magdalene he said.. 'this is interesting. You know that she’s a saint now? re-established in the church. I said yes and shared that I had done a talk on her, at a catholic church last year. He was surprised but very curious! He said it was a big movement in the church to reinstate her as a saint/ apostle and that he was part of that.
He was so excited telling me that, although he tried his best to keep his composure.
We started talking about Her and the history and how he was called to be a priest (a beautiful story in itself) he told me, he knew he was here to serve the Divine Mothers' work and was given this message through an experience as a boy with Mother Mary.
At this point I’m just stoked at the danger and magic of this meeting. I felt his gentleness and authentic curiosity, it was like being with him I’m that field Rumi writes about, a field beyond wrong or right.
So... there is a question I have always wanted to ask a priest...and of course I thought to myself: Anabel, when will you ever have this opportunity again? Just do it!
So, I turned to him, ‘can I ask you something? I've always wanted to ask a priest this but felt really wrong for it?’
He kindly said, 'yes of course, anything.'
And I blurted out, ‘How do you SUBLIMATE YOUR SEXUALITY?’
He turned white then red, then he cleared his throat, and took off his glasses.. and said.. 'well… I did say anything didn’t I?’
he continues.. ‘well. young lady, its not easy’.
I said: ‘I bet, thats why I’ve always wondered this..'
He then began to tell me that there is a big divide amongst the church. That there are priests and nuns who are suffering deeply because of this, and when it is brought up it is dismissed as a personal problem and demon they are dealing with and must atone through prayer and repenting.
He even touched on the subject of the ‘problem’ the church has tried to cover up with the children as well as between priests and nuns conceiving.
So, with a big sigh… he said they are really praying and actively pushing for the church to come to a resolution that will acknowledge the sexual impulses and not cut them off or judge them as evil. Which only creates deceit, unwanted children and whats worst... abuse of the innocent.
He told me that he was on his way to Hawaii to a conference and this was one of the subjects he would be speaking to because of the enormity of chaos that it continues to create and is intolerable at this point.
We went into talking about it and I brought up some of the highlights of sacred union, sexual alchemy and my perspective on being a devotional woman embracing the full spectrum of sexuality, shadow work, etc. He was fascinated and had a lot to contribute, like connecting some dots around his own work and life.
He told me that the way the church is running isn’t sustainable which is why a lot of priests leave and instead become pastors... but that he feels for him, he couldn’t leave and leave the rest with the problem so he will continue to push until something happens. This is his lifes’ work.
I expressed how courageous I felt that was, to go against the grain and stand for the ones who won't be heard.
He said to me:
‘It isn’t my courage at all, if it was solely up to me I probably wouldn’t be doing this work. It's nothing to do with myself. It is a sacred oath I gave before I even became a priest, maybe before I was even born. I am here to do the Holy Spirit's work and thats all, thats where the courage comes from.'
I nod my head feeling how true his words are in my own work and how often I have to remind myself of that.
Then he turns to me and says… 'so interesting.. A priest and a Priestess sitting together.’ I said, ‘ yes, AND you’re a grail knight!’
Of course at this point. I was tearing up, I told him that I would take those words with me as I went into the world and shared more. He held my hand and said: 'you do that, the holy spirit is inside you, never doubt that. I wish there would of been Womb Awakening for me, it sounds more fascinating’ and laughed.
When we landed, I said it’d be an honor for him to take the book.
He told me he couldn’t take it, that he couldn’t imagine explaining it if someone found that in his briefcase! But he wrote the name down and said he would buy it upon his return because he really wanted to know more about it and maybe it could help his understanding and cause.
We walked off the plane together and he thanked me for such a beautiful conversation and that I had really touched him and encouraged him on what he was going to present.
He emphasized that this was a divine ‘appoint' ment.
It truly felt like neither one of us wanted to leave the conversation but he had to catch his next flight. We could of kept talking forever!
There was a part of me that wanted to ask for his email or to give him mine to update me on the outcome or just to keep in touch but it felt silly at the time. It was like, that was what it was meant to be and I had to embrace the mystery and the ‘not knowing’.
There was so much devotion and lightness in this man, it was so touching, even now writing this I am in tears, actually every time i think of him and his work, I am brought to tears of empowerment and resolve. Bless him wherever he is right now.
I asked if I could hug him, he hugged me and then he looked at me and said:
‘You know… you and I are doing the same work, just wearing a different dress. Will you give me a blessing before I go, priestess? ‘
I seriously had to stop and make sure I wasn’t hallucinating! took me a minute to receive what he had just said.
And I did, and then he did.
And we hugged and we walked our separate ways to continue our divine work, knowing that Divine Mother weaves her web in mysterious ways, and that our allies can be found in the most of unlikely places when we have the courage to open to it.